Confessions of a (Recovering) Perfectionist came to mind as my initial title for this post. I know something about the dodgy distraction of pursuing perfection.
I’m acquainted with the compulsion to get everything right. To be right. All of the time.
Not long ago I was paralyzed by one version or another of the perfectionist’s creed: “If you can’t do something right, don’t bother to doing it,” or “If you’re going to do something, do it right.”
Yes, well, a perfectionist’s auto response to that kind of pressure includes a hefty dose of procrastination fueled by self-doubt and fear of failure.
There’s more. More often than not, the perfectionist sports a critical spirit, calling herself and others to answer unrealistic and exhausting expectations. Sigh.
Can you relate? We’re not alone.
Never mind that all-around perfect isn’t an option for earth-bound humans, the deceptive path to picture perfect is a crowded dead-end. (more…)
Let me introduce you to my friend, Becky. I’ve not yet met Rebecca Rene Jones in person. But after reading her memoir, Broken for Good: How Grief Awoke My Greatest Hopes, I feel like I’ve sipped coffee with her on the backporch at the lake house and even cast a line with her at the lake’s edge.
As the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays fast approach, the reality of an empty chair at the supper table can run us down. Because Becky’s writing is so yummy and her insights are soul satisfying, I asked her to share some refreshing thoughts on grief with us. Follow Becky on Twitter and Facebook.
by Rebecca Rene Jones
People ask how I knew that I wanted to write the book, after Dad died.
“It’s so personal, so raw. How did you know?”
Over the years, I’ve often wondered the same. Why write, and in doing so, re-live? What was there to re-visit? To unearth?
Mine was a garden-variety grief; kids bury parents. Maybe not at 18, but it’s not unnatural. And Dad died of cancer–not exactly a headline there, either.
So why a book? Why tell the story? What was there to say?
The bald truth is this: what I found on the other side of grief surprised me. (more…)
You balance loose envelopes and a package in the crook of one elbow so you can pull the post office door open for a stranger. Only to watch her blithely cross the threshold with nary a glance at you, let alone a “Thank you.”
Ever gone out of your way—or not—to do something nice for a stranger or a friend or a family member without receiving even a glint of gratitude?
Why the tendency to overlook kindness?
Sad to say, I am sometimes that person. Unaware. In my head. Self-absorbed. Consequently, I’ve missed countless opportunities to express thanks for another’s thoughtful gesture or service. And I’ve squandered far too many smile opps.
Being thankful and ready to express appreciation isn’t just a common courtesy or a product of good manners, but also a spiritual practice.
Gratitude is a heart condition commissioned by God. (more…)
Nothing like a lesson in listening during lunch on a Thursday with me, myself, and I.
I ordered my Chili’s menu favorite—Caribbean Salad with Grilled Chicken. Next, I pulled a file folder from my tote, ready to edit a book chapter while waiting for the greens adorned with pineapple, mandarin oranges, dried cranberries, green onions, cilantro, chicken, and more.
Before I got my head into marking up the manuscript, my 30-something waitress greeted her customer and friend seated in the booth in front of mine. A couple minutes later, she slid onto the bench across from her older friend and began recounting a personal saga that involved her troubled teenage son.
I perused the pile of papers in my folder while employing a few techniques I learned as a writer studying people for character research.
Here’s what I observed:
The listening friend’s chin drooped.
Her eyes narrowed in empathy.
A sad sigh lifted her shoulders and dropped them.
Her hand reached across the table to lock fingers with her friend.
Her mouth seldom moved as she listened. What?!
That’s what compassion and sisterhood look like. That’s what we want in a best friend, right? (more…)
Let me introduce you to my friend, Sarah.
Motivated by her own serious and chronic health struggles, Sarah Forgrave became a wellness coach who loves encouraging others in their health and faith journeys. Then she wrote a book, Prayers for Hope and Healing: Seeking God’s Strength as You Face Health Challenges. When Sarah isn’t writing or teaching, she loves to shop at Trader Joe’s or spend time with her husband and two children in their Midwest home. You can connect with Sarah on Facebook and Pinterest.
by Sarah Forgrave
If you’re anything like me, sometimes when you attempt to pray the next thing you know your mind is wandering to the grocery list, the kids’ schedule for the day, or what you’re going to make for breakfast.
I’m not saying I have this thing mastered by any means, but I recently realized my prayer life has been much more focused lately.
Taking a closer look, I discovered some patterns that have helped me stay connected during prayer. So I thought I’d share them today, along with a couple other suggestions that friends have found helpful. (more…)
For at least a dozen years, I daydreamed of gliding past awe-inspiring scenery in a posh passenger train.
A ride on Amtrak seemed a fitting party favor for celebrating forty-three years of marriage. Bound for Seattle on the final leg of our anniversary trip, my hubby and I boarded a non-stop rail ride in Vancouver, British Columbia.
I pressed my nose to the glass, centered on the surroundings as the behemoth shuddered from its perch in the station and rumbled through the train yard. Anticipation fluttered my insides as we rocked and swayed through the industrial area of Vancouver, where thick trees shrouded the suburban backdrop.
True to my daydreams, we glided past fairy tale villages. Baskets full of blooming pink and purple petunias adorned the homes and business on one side of the track. On the other, sailboats dotted the sea. Peninsulas draped in pine trees framed the water.
All too soon, the rails carried us beyond the baskets and the azure ripples along the peaceful shore. (more…)
Celebrated images of strength and hotness, Wonder Woman and Superwoman, both products of DC Comics, are boot clad, cape waving testaments to woman power.
From their perfectly-proportioned physique to their super hero prowess, Wonder Woman and Superwoman influence the female race, generation after generation. As does the notion that we can do everything and anything with aplomb and precision. Women of all ages—women like me—attempt to fill the boots of the imaginary Everything Woman, our cape looking more like a tunic. (more…)
Let me introduce you to my friend, Tricia.
When I faced a tight deadline for writing my debut novel eight years ago, I sought counsel from Tricia Goyer. An award-winning storyteller, Tricia is also the author of the book Walk It Out: The Radical Result of Living God’s Word One Step at a Time.
Motivated by her own experience of being a teen mom and the women who supported her, Tricia has a heart for mentoring teen moms and their families. Before moving to Arkansas, Tricia co-founded Hope Pregnancy Ministries in Northwestern Montana. She currently leads a Teen MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) Group in inner-city Little Rock. Tricia and the love of her life, husband John, are the parents of ten and grandparents of two. Follow Tricia Twitter or Facebook.
by Tricia Goyer
The other day I was cooking dinner when my six-year-old son rushed into the kitchen. Beads of sweat slid down his red face. “I’m so hot. You never get me anything to drink.”
I stirred my spaghetti sauce with one hand as I turned to him. “Excuse me?”
His voice rose in a full, high-pitched whine. “You never give me anything to drink!” He waved his hands and dropped to the floor. (more…)
I hear your deep sigh, and raise you one.
If you sighed with me, you’re likely a planner too. Or maybe your groan results from you having faced so much change this year that you’re over it.
If you’ve been following my blog, you may have noticed I’ve not posted a new post for a year and a half.
I’m back! With new stories to share with you.
You may be a friend who connected with me early on. Might have been my weekly newspaper column in the early 1990s or when my first children’s books were published nearly twenty years ago. Perhaps you found me through my historical novels and novellas these past eight years. Whenever and however you came to connect with me, I’m glad you did.
Let’s talk some about the journey we’ve been on.
Frustration and irritation will bubble just beneath the surface of our shuddering emotions, and if left unattended they will build steam and erupt into a full blown geyser. Perhaps today you’re battling the emotional boil that can come with feeling overwhelmed.
That was me. Frustration formed an underground spring out of I don’t even know what.
When we allow something—albeit a seemingly small disappointment or delay—to simmer inside us, it doesn’t take much else to switch the simmer to boil. (more…)