Friend, do you ever teeter or stumble in your decision making? Ever break into a sweat while attempting to spit out a “Yes” or “No”?
Many thanks to Becky Turner, my friend, coach and virtual assistant, for speaking into our hectic schedules and harried lives with this post. She’s leading a cheer for you and I to add breathing space and intentionality into the choices we make.
Blogger: Becky Turner
Do Your Shoes (Activities) Match Your Purse (Values)?
I remember when it was a huge fashion faux pas to go out in public and not have your shoes match your purse.
Brown heels meant a brown handbag. Silver slides meant a silver clutch. White flip flops meant a white tote bag. If time got away from me and I didn’t have time to change my purse, I was usually doing it in the car. And then heaven forbid if I showed up to an event with unmatched accessories. I felt totally not put together and disconnected.
I encountered this same feeling in my late 20s when my daily activities did not line up with who I was or wanted to be.I was busy doing lots of things but they were not things that mattered most to me. I was closing the deal but not taking the time to call my mom. I was getting the 3 mile run in but had no time to read the Word. I was buying what was in front of me never thinking about the auto insurance bill due in a month and for sure not my retirement. I was staying up-to-date on all my TV shows but not taking the time to go grocery shopping so that I would have healthy food in my house.
All of those activities were satisfying for the moment but in the end I was still not put together and really didn’t know what was missing.All of those activities were satisfying for the moment but in the end I was still not put together and really didn’t know what was missing. Click To Tweet
That was until someone handed me Hyrum Smith’s The 10 Natural Laws of Successful Time and Life Management.
This book changed my life because for the first time I sat down and wrote out my values. Here is the list I created in 1997:
Value #1: I love Christ – I spend quality one on one time with Christ and share Him with others.
Value #2: I have integrity – I live a life above reproach both morally and emotionally.
Value #3: I am cheerful – My attitude is upbeat and encouraging to others.
Value #4: I seek Truth – Only true understanding will set anyone free from bondage.Only true understanding will set anyone free from bondage. Click To Tweet
Value #5: I love my family – I nurture the relationships with my family through prayer, contacting them and sharing with them.
Value #6: I love my friends – I nurture the relationships with my friends through prayer, contacting them and sharing with them.
Value #7: I strive for excellence – I do my best in all things so that God can be glorified.
Value #8: I am financially secure – Money is a means to an end and I handle money frugally. Debt is none or a minimum.
Value #9: I am an influencer – I seek to positively influence all those around me to either show them Christ or to bring them closer to His presence.I seek to positively influence all those around me to either show them Christ or to bring them closer to His presence. Click To Tweet
Value #10: I am productive – My works will demonstrate my faith.
Value #11: I am physically fit – I avoid bad habits (i.e. fried foods) and practice good habits in eating and physical exercise.
The amazing thing about this list is when I wrote it, 95% of the values were not true in my daily life.
Oh, would I say I loved Christ or my family or my friends? Of course! But those values were not played out in my day by day, moment by moment life.
Today, over 20 years later, they are all true, 95% of the time, and my soul is at peace and my daily activities (my shoes) are matching my values (my purse.)Today, over 20 years later, they are all true, 95% of the time, and my soul is at peace and my daily activities (my shoes) are matching my values (my purse.) Click To Tweet
What about you? How are your daily activities matching up with your values?
Have you established your values? Do you have them in writing? In a computer file? On your phone? If not, I encourage you to write your values down. The easiest way to do that is to think a bit of a morbid thought, “What do I want people to say about me at my funeral?” Those are your values. Those are the character traits and lifestyles you want to develop in your life.
Once you have your values list, take time to prioritize them so that when the difficult decisions come your way, you have already made that decision when the emotions were not high.Once you have your values list, take time to prioritize them so that when the difficult decisions come your way, you have already made that decision when the emotions were not high. Click To Tweet
For example: If a friend were to ask me to lie for them. Loving my friends is important but not as important as my integrity. So, as much as I love them, I cannot lie for them.
Now, someone may say, “That is so wrong. Help your friend out.” My response is always I made this decision on my values and no one can judge my values.
I have to live with the consequences but I know that one of those consequences will not be the uneasy feeling I had in my 20s when my daily tasks were not matching up with my values.I have to live with the consequences but I know that one of those consequences will not be the uneasy feeling I had in my 20s when my daily tasks were not matching up with my values. Click To Tweet
Since that time, I have walked with dozens of people as they have established their values and not one time did anyone say they regretted it. Rather, they are so grateful because they are at peace AND at the end of each day know that they are living their best life.
Becky Turner currently serves as a non-profit consultant to Christ-centered ministries, primarily in the pro-life movement. She’s been blessed to minister around the world and experience God’s work in the villages of Africa, the high-rise apartments of Moscow as well as the streets of downtown Atlanta and Houston.